I selected this audiobook on a whim and I was blown away by the story and the chemistry between the two leads. It was such an intense and honest look into the life of a career child athlete. Mickey has been on skates ever since he could walk and the pressure to pursue a hockey career has made him realize so little about himself and what he actually wants in life. His love for hockey has diminished over the years, ever since he was left behind by his family at 10 so he could start competitive hockey (living with a billet family). He continuously deals quietly with his own depression, never telling anyone because he fears what they will think of someone like him (white, male, wealthy, all the opportunities he could ask for) being depressed. Mickey hurts himself more than anyone else, constantly belittling himself, but also pushing himself to be better, to do better. His and Jaysen's relationship was one of the best instances of enemies to lovers (hate to love) that I have read. The combativeness only really easing when they can finally admit to the others qualities (which takes a turn when it comes to the qualities of their looks). Jaysen is awful to Mickey, because he begrudges how easy everything apparently is for Mickey, and that he took a scholarship from someone who could really use it. Jaysen also fails to see Mickey outside of his hockey worth and family name (believing his talent and spot is not earned). However, as he gets to know the real Mickey, sees how he behaves, how he works with his teammates, his life outside of the rink, he begins to see his judgements were clouded by his own jealousy and anger. Mickey's team dynamics are also well done. Where he felt he could not really connect to anyone on previous teams, because he was always being shuffled around, he finally is able to form a bond with his team. This makes him a more well rounded player, and helps him to finally confront his anxiety and depression. He forms lasting friendships and is able to fully understand the importance of having a team for more than just winning. Mickey also has five sisters that are incredible athletes in their own rights, but they are often overlooked because of their sex. I liked how this book handled how underappreciated female athletes are and how angry Mickey is for his sisters. He advocates for them, cheers them on, and is first to mention how much better they are all around than he is in just hockey. He begrudges that they need him to continuously point out their achievements, instead of them receiving the accolades they deserve on their own. Overall, this was a phenomenal young adult debut and I will be picking up all books by this author in the future and buying this book for my shelves!
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