Ciela and Lock have gone through a horrific event together, but they also both have shards of mirrored glass lodge in their eyes and sink into their hearts. Ciela knows this, sees it happening, was unable to stop her shard from entering her heart. She has been trying desperately to hide all the pieces of mirrored glass she finds, but some tiny bits of broken glass are caught on the wind and pulled outside her window. The book talks immensely about power and privilege, how this imbalance gives certain people the idea they can do whatever they want without consequence. Some people have been raised to believe or to perceive what they do to others, who they think are below them, is not bad (no matter what it may be). The book shows this imbalance in how a system that is meant to protect all children, really only protects the children whose parents have money to give. Money is used by the school to justify which punishments fit which individuals. Ciela and Lock fit into the category of scholarship kids, they give nothing to the school but their grades and are therefore expendable. Unlike the rich children, whose bad behaviour is easily dismissed. Because of this imbalance, some of the rich kids believe the only right way to be is to be like them, and to be poor or other must be fixed. They believe what they do is helping, is allowing those outside their world to be brought in and become a part of it. Ciela's story is so heartbreaking and I immediately felt empathy for her. The decisions she makes are to protect herself from the truth of that night. She is suffering from PTSD and fears telling anyone the truth, because she thinks it is her fault, and she hates to think of what her parents, her family, and her friends would think of her if they knew the truth. She does not want to be seen differently, as something that happened to her. Throughout the course of the novel she begins to realize that what happened is not her fault, that her hiding the truth is actually hurting her more, and that losing her Great-Grandmother's gift of finding the perfect dessert for a customer is part of the cost of her closing herself off from others. When she starts to fight back, to take back who she is, her gift slowly returns. Lock is also suffering from PTSD, but his is different from Ciela's. This shows how the impact of trauma can present differently in people. While some of the suffering is the same, Lock finds more comfort in nature, in solitude, in therapy and his family. He is more open to healing, but moments of anger and hurt appear suddenly and are strong. I loved that this book exhibited a lot of magical realism. How the story of The Snow Queen is subtly inserted into this story of two rape victims. The mirrored glass that Ciela sees everywhere seems to come when she is confronted with what happened, with herself, with the predators that hurt her. They appear when she is vulnerable, ashamed, guilt ridden, and she tries to hide all these mirrored images of her, because she cannot look at herself and what happened too closely. She also hides them away, scared that what happened to her could happen to other people, she is protecting everyone, even while she fails to protect herself from the pain she is hiding. The glass within her and Lock are the pieces of themselves that were broken when they were attacked. It is just so beautifully woven into the story and perfectly encapsulates what it is like to be a victim, to be hurt, to be afraid, and to know you may never be whole again, who you once were no longer exists. Ciela sees herself as many different characters from The Snow Queen, each one a different piece of her story, whether she is Gerda who is searching for her lost friend, to the robber girl (the only brown girl in the story), to the Snow Queen herself (whose heart is made of ice). I also enjoyed that Ciela worked in a pasteleria owned by her tia. Her Latinx heritage is a very distinct part of her, as is her pansexuality. She also has the magical ability to predict what each customer needs. Each different dessert represents a mood, a feeling, an emotion that a customer needs to elicit in themselves. Whether it be courage, love, kindness. Ciela cannot pick out what Lock needs, but that is because what he needs scares her. She loses her gift at first, when she buries what happened to her. However, it slowly returns as she confronts her attackers and helps Lock. Also, this book made me very hungry. The desserts all sounded delicious, and the art of creating them seemed calm and healing (I often use baking as a stress release or when I am feeling over anxious and need to calm my mind). CW: Rape, Sexual assault, Sexual violence, Bullying, PSTD, Homophobia, Emotional Abuse, Body shaming, Biphobia, Misogyny, Grief Thank you to Macmillan Children's Publishing Group for giving me an e-ARC in exchange for an honest review.
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