After reading this book I am craving more historical 2SLGBTQIA+ fiction. I loved travelling to the past to be immersed in a story about heartache, pain, and the need to keep who you are hidden from the world. Andy begins this novel at the darkest time in his life, but slowly he begins to pull himself back up and experiences what it means to have a group of individuals (like you) who can help you and protect you. He realizes the mistakes he made, and how focused he was on self preservation, making it impossible to truly connect to or keep others like him safe. The storyline was very interesting and intense. The ending was a little predictable, but still nail biting. I found Andy to be repetitive about certain things, which was sort of frustrating. But, this book held my attention; this found family that was trying so hard to carve out a safe, loving space for themselves in an America where the touted "dream" only really applies to a few. The book tackles a lot of hard topics about the 2SLGBTQIA+ life in the 1950s. The stigma of queerness, the harm, fear, shame, hate, the derision from family and the community; but also, the secret spaces that flourished with love for those who felt trapped by the "norms" and asinine laws of the times. Pearl's family was made up of herself, Irene, Irene's son from her first marriage, his boyfriend, his staged wife, her girlfriend, and the staged wife's mother. The servants are also queer and therefore would not report this family dynamic to the police. But, while they are safe at their estate, they must hide their truths from the public or risk losing their entire livelihood and each other. Each relationship within the family is fraught at the time Andy comes in, but for reasons sometimes related to Irene's death and at other times due to the nature of their relationship or their having to hide it. I really enjoyed the wife, Margot, and her girlfriend Elsie (the owner of a club similar to the one Andy was discovered in). While Margot's mother does not understand why her daughter is a lesbian, she still stays with them and cares for their home, she plans their meals and gives subtle jabs about their lifestyle. The mother feels, at the estate, the same way that queer people feel in 1950s America. It was interesting to see that comparison coming through. Meanwhile, Irene's son and his boyfriend are able to truly hug and be together in this place. But, you can also see cracks in their bond when you see Cliff, the boyfriend, behave erratically and continuously drink the days away. He does not leave the house and seems fearful of something outside of the house. It is through Cliff that you see the gilded cage that Irene and Pearl have created for this family; keeping them safe from outside, but also not allowing them to be free. It is a hard choice to make, to save your family from harm, but to also lock away the rest of the world or your truth in order to survive. I am looking forward to the next Andy Mills story, and hopefully it becomes a series of great books!
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