An emotionally charged gut punch, this book was hard to put down but also sometimes hard to read. All three of these teens are so shaped by their lived experiences together and the haunting truths they keep buried. Harlow and Eli are toxic, but it is their dependence on each other, their desperation for each other, that makes them that way. In fact, by the end I was more empathetic to Harlow, seeing how this relationship has molded her into a "bad luck" person. When in truth, Eli has taken all of the praise, all of the adoration in order to keep her by his side. Eli is the real villain of this story, at least in my opinion. He is selfish, uncaring, and oblivious. He purposefully hurts people and expects everyone to fold to his whims and wishes. He has little regard for his brother and destroys his happiness thinking that he knows what is best and right for him. He has little care for his other friends, only using them to his own ends, with no regard for their lives and dreams. He has stripped away so much of Harlow that any time something bad happens she shrinks away, in fear that it is her closeness that has caused the damage. He does not experience any growth within the novel. The ending is ambiguous, so you can think the best or the worst. My hope is for the best option, that Harlow makes the right choice for herself. That she has actually grown and changed from her experiences with Eli and Tommy throughout the novel. That she is able to hear and see the truth of her friendship with Eli. The weather and shoreline are so pivotal to the plot. They are themselves a presence and closely mimic the emotions that these three are grappling with as the novel progresses. Specifically, the sea is a mirror to Tommy, the coastal erosion is how much of himself he believes he is losing to the pills he takes for his depression. His internal struggle with his depression, his highs and lows, his taking medication versus stopping because he fears the medication is stripping him of his creativity and art. The loss of the shoreline and the raging storms can also be reflected in the relationship of Eli and Harlow and how they are slowly falling away from each other. As their summer progresses they are beginning to see the cracks and tears that are forming from their lies and secrets. One final storm could completely shatter their friendship. But, the erosion and weather is also about resilience, about regrowth, rebuilding and protecting what remains. Like the shoreline our lives ebb and flow and change constantly. What used to be in our lives may be washed away by the years, but we still have the memories, the keepsakes, the feelings of those times. Even as we move on and try to create something new, something better for ourselves. Such beautiful imagery and language to convey such a heavy topic. The adults in this book are, similar to other young adult novels, not very helpful for the teens. They observe very little of what is going on and often times actually fed into the hurt that these children were facing. Particularly how Harlow was treated reminded me of a scarlet woman, who is at once at fault for all the wrongs that happen, cannot seem to do anything right, and has little in the terms of support from her family, her friends, and the greater community. She is fighting so hard for a future, for a place she knows those she loves need in their lives, that she often is faded into the background of their accomplishments and accolades. I was mad at her often, do not get me wrong, for all her selfishness and her casual attitude towards her relationship with Tommy. But, I also felt for her, for the fact she was always the outsider, the bad one, the one at fault. As though these two boys are unable to make decisions for themselves, as though they have no agency, as though Eli is not himself a selfish prick, or as though what happened in the past did not happen when she was a child and running to hide from something awful. There are moments you will hate all three of these characters, but there are moments you will also feel deeply connected to their pain, their plight, their love and happiness. It is a novel that will leave you emotionally raw afterwards, so be prepared to sit with the novel, with how uncomfortable you might feel, how unresolved you may find it. Because this book is about the messiness of life, the incompleteness as we all learn and grow and adapt to what the world has to throw at us. How we live day to day on a world in turmoil, as we ourselves are in turmoil.
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