Today was a wash...
We had to drive to Aurora for a friend's father's funeral this morning, he was only 50, very sad occasion. On our way back I decided to sit in the back with the babe and try to feed her because I wanted to take her to see Turbo at Stars and Strollers. She ate fine, it's after the eating that everything went horribly wrong. Unfortunately, being in the back is good for feeding, but not good when she can see me, and she is tired; because, she wants mama to pick her up and cuddle her to sleep. When driving on the highway it is not feasible to unstrap a baby from their car-seat to cuddle, it is not feasible to do that at any time while driving with a baby. So, she cried, and cried, and cried...and continued screeching and crying until she worked herself up so much that she puked all down her white dress. We just bleached that dress from the last stains that got on it :s Needless to say, I had to strap myself in to the middle seat, which meant I was on an angel because of the car-seat, and throw myself over her so she could finally drift off to sleep. I was so glad the baby was able to sleep I didn't really mind that I was as uncomfortable as all heck, or that my sore shoulder was beginning to feel like a volcano of heat and spasms. Ah, what you give up for your child.
So, the movie was out of the question. Which was OK with me, since by the time we got home, my husband changed and went to work, it was raining. Instead we curled up and watched Kung Fu Panda 2. Most embarrassing occurrence of the day: I was balling my eyes out when they told the story of Po's family and when Po said the goose was his dad. The babe was even giving me the 'are you kidding me' look. Somehow I am now emotionally attached to a mama panda who had to pack her baby in a crate of radishes (or turnips) so he could live. Yes, I have reached that level...
Because of my melt down during the movie, and my baby giving me the what for look, I decided playing was in order for the rest of the day. So we tackled hide and seek, climbing on mommy, reading, and many other fun adventures to make up for the stormy weather outside. I even made myself some herbal tea, and drank it while it was still hot (miracle of miracles); since, I was able to put the babe down for her afternoon nap around the same time (then spent my tea time watching the Lizzie Bennet Diaries Question and Answer vids). Watch the diary series if you can, it is a great modern adaptation of the Pride and Prejudice novel (each video is 3-5 minutes in length, and there are 100 of them).
Today was a sad, gloomy, rainy day; but all I needed to do to cheer myself up was look at the beautiful, little face smiling up at me, as she went about rubbing wet cookie all over our sofa cushions. Adorbs!
P.S. The babe tried some fish for the first time, and found she could not get enough of it!
My whole life I have had a crippling shyness that has led to me holding back when it comes to social interaction. I am not sure what it is, but I cannot for the life of me go up to someone I don't know, or only know a little, and start a conversation. I fear putting my foot in my mouth, embarrassing myself beyond belief, and just generally finding out that for some reason or another the person does not like me. Add to that fact I am a bit of an introvert; I find I gain energy from being alone, sipping some tea and reading a book, rather than feeling like a complete wreck trying to stay in the conversation of a large group, and not look like the snobbish boob in the corner that has better things to do than talk to other people. I feel that most times I come off looking like I want no part of things, that I am better than others, or that I would rather sit out than participate. In actual fact, I sit away from the group because I fail to know how to act or what to say, I try so hard to please for the sake of my husband and all those I love, but it's hard when I feel like a blathering idiot who wants nothing more than to be liked.
The problem with all of this, the conclusion I came to when I was at Beach Babytime, is that my little one is depending on me to form friendships for her right now. How am I supposed to do that when I find it hard making friends myself? There is a reason I have a small circle of friends, it is very hard for me to become close with other people; even then I am always worried that I am not good enough for them or they like my husband and that is why they hang out with me. I hide all my fears by being comical around the people I love, being loud and obnoxious with those I care about. Talk about being a clinical case. But I am worried so much that my baby will not have all the advantages of other children, when her mother cannot muster the courage to simply go up to one of the other mother's in a group and ask if she wants to set up a play date (especially when I have encountered some of these women on several occasions). And it is not that they are not nice, they are super nice, it is that for some reason my brain shuts down, my palms sweat and my feet refuse to move me in the direction I need to go in order to meet new people.
I am not sure how to change this, how to fix myself. I thought I was doing better, working at a job that continuously deals with the public. However, I find that when I am at work I put myself into a sort of job trance or zone that enables me to do things I cannot outside of that environment. It's like I am not me; but, as soon as I leave the office, my shell reforms and builds this barrier I cannot break in terms of being social.
Does anyone have any suggestions on what I might do to break this curse I have been living with for the past, oh I don't know, 28 years?
This weekend our plans swiftly changed due to unforeseen circumstances. Nothing that was changed was too disappointing though. We still had a great time, both relaxing and out about the town.
Saturday we were originally going to attend Afrofest, but the weather seemed iffy at times and we weren't sure about an outdoor Festival with a baby. So, instead, we headed to the library so the babe could enjoy some time crawling around the kids section, playing with the magnetic letter board, and picking out some board books for the week.
On Sunday it was my husband's family reunion on his mother's side. His family did the planning and set-up. We had awesome weather, great food, and amazing company. We enjoyed watching the kids do a sack race, three legged-race and golf ball on a spoon race. Then the best part, tug of war. I faced off with all the other nieces against the aunts, and I guess when you have been carrying babes around more recently your muscles are a little stronger; that's right, the nieces dominated! It was all in good fun though! It was a potluck, but you brought your own meat. I had a delicious turkey burger, and my husband managed to scrounge some avocado and tomato for it, YUM! I had chips and dip, delicious salads, a good pasta salad that the babe ate most of, and lots of ooey gooey desserts. I had made some chocolate chip M&M cookies, as pictured at the beginning of this blog, which seemed to be almost gone by the time we had to collect our container to leave, so I suppose they went over like gangbusters!
I am astounded right now. I just found out I am one of three finalists nominated for Best Local Blog, in the Best of Waterloo Region vote being run by the Cord Community Edition. I am so honoured and amazed. This is huge! I started this blog as a way to chronicle my daily adventures with my baby, before going back to work, and now I am possibly going to be recognized as the best local blog. My head is spinning!
If you have the time, you should go and vote for all the amazing local restaurants, events, people, etc. that are up for Best of Waterloo Region. It is such an honour to be recognized, even if I don't win, and I want everyone out there to show their love for the Region and all the businesses, events and people in it. Let's spread the love!
If you do enjoy my blog, and want to vote for me, I am under Best Local Blog. At the moment I am listed as One Mama's Supper, but I have contacted the Cord Community Edition and they are going to be correcting my name shortly.
I have always loved to create, so when I found out I was having a baby my brain went into overdrive on how to decorate the room our little one would be sleeping in. I jumped from yellow and grey, to blues, to finally settling on rainbow (because I wanted the baby to have it all). From there it was all about personal touches; framed paintings by me, a personalized comic cover of my husband as a hero, a painted tile my husband and I had made at an art Festival...and much more. Family and friends contributed their little touches as well; moving over my husbands wooden barn made by his uncle (which holds all his John Deere toys), a hand stitched birth announcement by our friends mother, and a handmade mobile by a very good friend. All of these things made our little girls room a sanctuary, a place where she is completely surrounded by love. I could not have been happier with how it turned out, including the houses photographed above, which were hand made from wood by my husband and hand painted by me.
This blog is about being a stay-at-home mom. Includes photos, meals, crafts, thoughts, and tons of other fun stuff!
Blogs I love:
Living, Loving, and Laughing in the Loo
A Baked Creation
The Party Wagon
Fia Lotta Jansson
Dinner With Julie
How About Orange